Wednesday, April 25, 2007

To be a Barista

Laura: Helloooo, can I help?
Non-descript man: mhlnvhlv hoo teeba
Laura: Pardon ... you want, tea?
Nondescript man: (shakes head decisively) uhm-uhm! vhlv hooo (sighs) hmmm vlvhoo
Laura: Oh god, I remember you now, still can't talk can you? Can you point?!
Nondescript man: (mumbles) mba timtaww rbblermurk uffhvlnvhoo hmmm maylayzee hinhin
Laura: Listen luv I don't have all day and customers are waiting can you point to what you want or get out of the way? (raises her voice) Rita can you help this man! (exasperated) Next please!! can I help?
Man 2nd in line: It's fine you can help him first.
Laura: But ...
Man 2nd in line: No really I don't mind waiting.
Rita: (shouts from the pantry) Laura! I'm busy can you just hold the till a bit longer?
Laura:(to back) I'm going mad here! (to nondescript man) Can you speak up please!
Nondescript man: hoonv
Laura: God, is that *tape* across your mouth?
Nondescript man: hin hin vlvn hoo
Laura: That's it GRRRRRTS (ripping sound as it comes off)
Now open your mouth ... oh god is that, oh no, I think I'm going to vomit.
Nondescript man: I ... I ... I ... I miss you will you please come home?
Laura: Good god Peter, don't you have any self-respect?
Man 2nd in line: Can I have a latte please?
Nondescript man: Haha, but I've finally made up my mind Laura! I want to be a barista.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Remixed Kitty

Remixed Kitty! Definitely need sound.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

an alphanumeric analogy

A passionate dialogue between two arch-enemies of the Oomla (an imaginary humanoid race favouring simplicity for emotional expression) paraphrased in alphanumeric characters: