when everyone is quiet in their chairs
and mental activity covers your mind
like a sheet of glass
you think "i worked so hard today,
i've become a beautiful artifact"
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Emotional Entity and the Lady in White
I slide my hand into the Emotional Entity as if to verify that it is real. There is a brief jabbing sensation just below my lower left rib. The Emotional Entity has a rich texture, a rusty brown colour, and I let my hand slide in and probe it at will. It is of a paradoxical substance, watery when I move, but more substantial, like a blanket, when I probe and feel. I have no idea where it leads to, or what it is connected to, but it has been here for days.
A tingling sensation arises gradually in my hand. Then it is in both hands, and as if in answer to a conductor's call, the glands throughout my body start to open and tingle in a surging symphony.
The Lady in Light appears. I can never tell whether she is standing in a clearing, or next to a river, perhaps it is the sea: the light approaches her like waves rolling in from the sea. I never see her face, which is turned away from me, and which I am not at all sure about. I do not know why she appears to me. Everything is light, billowing white and yellow, so bright that I almost have to shield my sight. Almost.
Nothing ever really changes either. The rippling waves of light are always there, an endless energy. And she stands there, protected from me, unknown to me really, the fringes of her dark hair partly covered by a cap, lifting and sometimes whipping in the wind. That is how I know she is outside, because of the wind. Or is it the power of the waves that generates the movement in the air? Again, I am not sure. Her coat is pulled tightly around her, and draping over it, held against her body, is a kind of shawl being tugged by the wind. Even when it feels as if I am moving, she remains at the same angle from me, I never get to see her face.
Sometimes when I look at her for long enough I start noticing that the waves do not come closer. They are more like clouds of vapour or steam that expend themselves. She guides them imperceptibly, shaping them into patterns. Despite their size they evolve quickly and without heaviness, before dissipating.
When she disappears again, like now, I am always surprised. The memory remains, and the sensation, and the light on my face.
The Emotional Entity has gone as well. Or at least, it has changed. But I think it is gone. When I move my hand the air around it is thin, thinner than water, and colourless like water. Clear and fresh, like the air at the top of a mountain.
A tingling sensation arises gradually in my hand. Then it is in both hands, and as if in answer to a conductor's call, the glands throughout my body start to open and tingle in a surging symphony.
The Lady in Light appears. I can never tell whether she is standing in a clearing, or next to a river, perhaps it is the sea: the light approaches her like waves rolling in from the sea. I never see her face, which is turned away from me, and which I am not at all sure about. I do not know why she appears to me. Everything is light, billowing white and yellow, so bright that I almost have to shield my sight. Almost.
Nothing ever really changes either. The rippling waves of light are always there, an endless energy. And she stands there, protected from me, unknown to me really, the fringes of her dark hair partly covered by a cap, lifting and sometimes whipping in the wind. That is how I know she is outside, because of the wind. Or is it the power of the waves that generates the movement in the air? Again, I am not sure. Her coat is pulled tightly around her, and draping over it, held against her body, is a kind of shawl being tugged by the wind. Even when it feels as if I am moving, she remains at the same angle from me, I never get to see her face.
Sometimes when I look at her for long enough I start noticing that the waves do not come closer. They are more like clouds of vapour or steam that expend themselves. She guides them imperceptibly, shaping them into patterns. Despite their size they evolve quickly and without heaviness, before dissipating.
When she disappears again, like now, I am always surprised. The memory remains, and the sensation, and the light on my face.
The Emotional Entity has gone as well. Or at least, it has changed. But I think it is gone. When I move my hand the air around it is thin, thinner than water, and colourless like water. Clear and fresh, like the air at the top of a mountain.
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