The Lady in the Light

I slide my hand into the Emotional Entity to ascertain that it is real. I feel a jabbing sensation beneath my lowest left rib. The Entity has a robust existence and a rust brown colour, and I let my hand feel and probe it at will. Its texture is paradoxical, soft and watery when I move, but more substantial - like a blanket - when I probe and touch it.

A tingling sensation in my hand starts spreading from my wrist up through my palm. Soon it flames in both hands while, as if in answer to a conductor's call the glands throughout my body start to open and throb in a surging biological symphony.

The Lady in Light appears. I can never tell whether she is standing in a clearing, or next to a river - perhaps she is by the sea: the light approaches her like waves rolling in from the sea. I never see her face, which is turned away from me. Well, I say that as if she is aware of me - perhaps. I do not know why she appears to me. Everything is light and billowing white and yellow, so bright that I almost have to shield my sight. Almost.

Nothing ever really changes. The wallowing waves of light are always there, an endless energy. And she stands there, shielded from me and wholly unknown to me, just the fringes of her dark, wound hair lifting and whipping in the wind. That is how I know she is outside, because of the wind. Or is it the power of the waves that generates the movement in the air around her? Again I am not sure. Her coat is pulled around her tightly, and over it she clutches a woolly shawl which the wind tugs at at the edges.

Sometimes when I look at her for long enough I notice that the waves never really move much closer. They are like clouds of vapour or steam that expend themselves upon their approach. And I get the feeling that she guides them, shifting them into complex patterns that, despite their size and force, evolve quickly and without clumsiness before they dissipate.

When, like now, she disappears again I am always surprised. I retain the memory of her and the light glowing warm on my face, but that is all.

I raise my hand in front of me. There is nothing. The Emotional Entity has gone and there is only thin air, clear and fresh, like the air on top of a mountain.