Short stories

On Saturday I happened to notice a short story compilation for only £4 at Waterstone's - contains contributions from hot new UK writing talent and the winning entries in 2004 - of what? (and this is where I failed to read the last bit: "of Waterstone's and Bliss magazine's Teen Writing Competition 2004"). Well I got sidetracked. But for the most part I also admirably restrained myself from buying anything on impulse. For the most part. Finally, just before launching out of the door to have lunch with K in Chinatown, I decide, hey, when last did you read a short story? and bought the little book - aptly titled: "Short stories". Well dear reader, I'd best not lie to you, it's not what I expected. Not far in I started realising my mistake (but further in than you would imagine!). Can you guess what it is? Wait, here's a hint: "Scott followed me up the steps to the Schraeders' front door. I hoped he couldn't see how hard my heart was beating beneath my T-shirt. The truth was, I was totally nervous. My stomach hurt. My hands were still all sweaty - but not because I was afraid of Kurt." (In "You Rock, Jen Greenley", by Meg Cabot)

That's right! Someone is trying to imitate Teen Hormones (tm)! Being a good citizen of the word I finished the first story, seeing if it goes anywhere interesting. It doesn't really. In the end the narrator is exalted when taking some sort of moral stand - and Scott suddenly likes her for it. Presumably there is a market for this fluff, but all three of the first three stories (yes, I am the hero, I read 3) moralise the bejeesus out of any real interest they could have had. Except as kitsch. And that's what I realised when, sitting on the tube later and trying to read it I felt it would be appropriate to blush. So instead of giving it to a charity organisation now (hospitals etc. are always looking for books at their reception), I plan to write boldly in pink marker on a sticker: "British kitsch", paste it on the cover and give it a proud place in my bookrack.

Speaking of which, has anyone noticed how popular pink is with English girls? Especially "teenagers". Weird! Correction: weird to me. "Pink and the feminine in chav society", a nice little post-industrial essay about burning social issues ...